I am a true adventurous soul. I grew up with my best friends being my two brothers (and then of course, ten years later, my two baby sisters ;-) ). I am the type to try anything once, within reason. I've been sky diving, jumped of crazy height rocks into swimming holes (even while pregnant, if that's legal) [Please Note: Don't be alarmed. For me, crazy heights shrink to a much safer height while pregnant.], lots of 4w motorbike riding, midnight rabbit hunts on my grandparents farm, you name it. I love going places, and meeting people. Crazy and adorable people - you are my loves! Yes. I love the outdoors, camping, dirt, and daggy (though matching of course) clothes. I love to sing at the top of my voice, and dance like nobodies watching most days. I grew up in the country. Bunch of kids, bunch of animals, awesome friends, and not much (hard) responsibility. My childhood was imperfect, but awesome. And it was slow. The slow that builds indian teepees out of bonfire branches and literally plays cowboys and Indians. The slow that plans big dreams with siblings while lying on the trampoline at night watching the incredibly full, star filled sky and shrieks over the many shooting stars that streak across our view. All the while bursting out into favourite Disney songs at random moments and combining our voices in perfect soul chilling harmonies. That kind of slow.
Life did hit me down a few pegs. I felt the sting of peoples judgement. And yes. I let it effect how I saw myself. I still struggle with that at times. Though I'm beginning to realise that everyone has their stuff. And God sees me as awesome. Just the way I am. And I can love everyone else, because He loves me and helps me to love myself.
I need to remember that this is who I am. Because when life does get pushy. I often forget.
Like over the crazy fast months of the Christmas and New year hype. Appointments, commitments, family and friends, work and life, etc. Just read between the lines. Although the moments have been enjoyable, life has gotten a bit pushy. I almost forgot what it means to be our own little family. This brought on some big thoughts and talks. And after the holiday rush, our family has decided to play slow.
Want to know how? I'm happy to share. Just don't judge me. Cus I love you just for who you are the way you and in what you do. Our life choices are what makes us beautiful. To each other, and to God.
Deep breath. Here goes.
We got rid of our tv. Like. It's now unplugged in our garage, along with our dvd player, satellite box and Wii console. We're trialing this for 60 days. Because we want to see if we'll actually get smarter and have more time. It's crazy. So far I've finished reading a book I'd been trying to get through for weeks and read a big chunk of another. Today is day two of no tv. I've been freaking out about not having the sanity of plonking on a show for my girls when I need a break. So far, they've just found their own fun and I didn't flip. Amazing.
I've switched to an old fashioned 2G phone. Like the kind that the only game on board is snake xenia. Yes, the old, original snake game. The phone is slow and steady. But awesome. I find my brain is focusing on my day. Not my phone. Weird feeling.
We have our computer hooked up to wall internet. No more wifi connections or internet dongles. At least not for now. I have to find a moment of peace to actually sit down and check my internet stuff. Yeah, definitely doesn't happen that often anymore!
Over these last couple of months, I've found I don't really know my youngest daughter. And she's got some big personality happening! That's a goal I can't wait to achieve. To know my kids.
We're starting to make time for each other, hubby and wife time. As I've mentioned, these last couple of months have been crazy and I've really missed my man. Last night we attempted a soak in the bath together, I even had my favourite woodwick soy candle burning - trust me, that candle is precious. It has a fragrance of butterscotch vanilla heavenly sweetness and when the woodwick starts burning and crackling away with its wood fire smells mingled with its milky candle sweetness - I'm in another place! My two year old girl thought the occasion the perfect time to stay awake and stir every five minutes with multiple concerns, fears, and requests until ten o'clock. But we treasured the fact that we tried to have time. That alone has given me warm fuzzies to last me today. We're planning time together again tonight. That's special to me.
I'm still a mum, I still have a house to run, and a hubby to love, and life to maintain for my family. But I want to consciously choose to live each moment to the full. We don't know what's around the corner, and for that reason alone, I want to treasure slow. Sometimes, the food can stay on the kitchen floor while I sink in a shell pool with my two year old and tickle and splash. Sometimes, the clothes can wait to be sorted while we pray as a family and I hug my 11 month old.
I don't know how life will look in another few months. Ours seems to be constantly changing, due to season of life, health, work and family needs. This is where we're at right now. Just slow. If we can and where we can.
Slow is still messy. It's still crazy and just a little hard. But it's slow. I can handle slow. And when life speed gets things moving in the crazy patches, I can handle that too. Because I know we're taking stock of our family and our needs. And that means more to me than anything. Even swimming in my favourite childhood waterhole or body boarding at the beach. That's huge for me. And I really want to treasure the adventurous me inside this mummy body. The me that relishes in simple childhood fun and never grows up. And I believe that God is thrilled with that. Because the less I'm worried about the stuff, the more He can take care of it all for me. And that to me is better than slow. That's peace. That's quiet in the storm. And that's home. Our home. To treasure slow. If we can, and where we can.