I have been busting to share with you again!
This week I visited my doctor to discuss the results of my last ultrasound report. And she said to me that the dreadful clot was shrinking, and also liquefying - enabling it to be reabsorbed into my body!
All I can say is, THANK YOU GOD!
What a crazy few months it has been. Due to the pregnancy complications, I've been unwilling to fully embrace being pregnant. Walking out of that doctors room though, I had a spring in my step and a big smile on my face that could not be wiped away ~ Baby number three is, Lord willing, safely on its way! But even if the situation had turned for the worse, as heart wrenching as it was turning out to be, I knew that even though I couldn't understand the outcome, God sees the big picture. And loves me more than I can imagine. I find that hard to practice at times. But the more I put my money where my mouth is and actually trust God, the easier, more peace-filled, and awesome life is.
I've noticed a pattern in the big, and little, life struggles I've experienced in the past few years. The hard situation get's worse and worse, until I really look at the situation for what it is - and let it go. Let it go by stop trying to control it, while still doing my best to better the situation, I give the control to God and fully accept His Will - whichever way the situation goes - worse or better.
The build up to that point is really hard. It's a battle for me. There's lots of tears, lots of questions (WHY!!!!?!), lots of inner battles, and outward stress. But I'm learning, the quicker I give it over to God and quit worrying and leave it in His hands - the quicker the situation works out.
I guess I have an issue with trust.
I read this example recently; 'we don't lie on our beds at night, worrying and anxious that they'll be able to hold us while we sleep - we, without thinking, trust that our bed will hold our weight and sleep restfully with that simply accepted knowledge.' That's what trusting God is like.
As long as I'm worrying, that's a clear sign I'm not trusting.
As long as I'm anxious, that's a clear sign I'm not trusting.
That verse in the Bible that says that I need to become like a little child or I CAN'T get to Heaven, has been on my mind a lot lately.
My two little ones are so free in life. They wake up thrilled to be alive, not a care in the world - just feed me, love me and play with me! They don't like it when they are disciplined for doing wrong, or kept inside while daddy is mowing, have the matches they've found taken away or put down for a sleep when they want to keep playing. They fight it in some of those situations. But they trust me, they love me with all they know, and they just expect me to care for them. That's what I'm there for!
God's the same.
Do I really get that? Not sure, but I'm learning! I mightn't like it when the hard stuff comes, but the sooner I trust God and let Him look after me instead of me look after me, accepting that He knows what I need (nap time, safety, or character reforming), while realising He loves me more than I even understand what love is. The more I'll be waking up thrilled to be alive with not a care in the world - just feed me, love me and let me play!